Tender Assault and Battery in a Bridal Shop
by Entwife Incognito
Summary: Just a bit of Jisbon excitement to brace ourselves for the ongoing angst between them in the show right now. Thanks to Anon for the suggestion! One-shot, AU, PWP. There's no excuse for this. I hope it's fun anyway. Warning! Adult sexual situations. If you don't like that stuff, then don't read this! Disclaimer: I don't own anything about The Mentalist.


"You can't come in here with me!"

"Nonsense. Aren't you wearing the dress for me? Don't you want to know how it affects me?"

"You'd love me in torn overalls and a straw hat, dirt on my nose!"

"Ooooohhh, Lisbon. So adventurous. I want to see that in our next role play."

"Stop! You can't come in!"

"I'll do that thing that you like . . . " He had her attention now and she looked sharply at him to see what he was playing at.

He bent carefully and whispered something into her ear that made her flush deep pink and open her lips to breathe. As he watched the effect he had created, he nodded knowingly with half-lidded eyes. When her cheeks puffed out to blow breath through her pursed lips, he smiled. He had her! It filled him with pride to know that just a reminder of what he was able to do to her body could sway her will so swiftly.

"You look like a blowfish, Jane. Let some air out of that puffed up chest before you start popping buttons." She smiled slyly at him, real mischief in her eyes.

"Teresa Lisbon. You are a horny little piece of a-. Ow!"

She was grinding her full weight on his toe!

He jerked his foot loose. "Is that some kind of special cop move or something?"

"There are only a few tools I have in my arsenal when I have to curb you quick. You have to keep pushing."

"I'm happy. We're getting married and I'm, I'm . . . exuberant!"

"You'll have to be exuberant later, in the bedroom, like you just promised me. Right now I have a dress fitting. And you're going to have bad luck."

"Horse puckey!"

"Look. You behave, Patrick Jane. Remember, I have the stick and I'm trained to use it!"

Taking her hand, he gave her a sly, lascivious look. "You'll have to admit, I have a pretty sweet carrot." He placed her hand on the front of his jeans and pushed something firm under her hand.

She jerked her hand away. "Is that thing _ever_ flaccid?"

"Not when you're around. And now I get to see you in your white lace and satin. Bad boy's pretty excited."

"Calm down and act like you brain hasn't drained into your dick!"

"Tsk, tsk, Lisbon. So crass." He placed his hand on the small of her back and opened the shop door for her, following meekly behind her. A bell tinkled their arrival.

Lisbon breathed deeply and straightened her blouse. "Be decent in front of these ladies!"

"Ah, Ms. Lisbon!" said a slender gray-haired woman, the shop owner. "We're ready for your fitting. We've chosen a few foundations for you, if you wish to try them with the dress. Panties, of course, must be paid for if you try them on."

"Thank you, Ms. Billings. Yes, of course." Resolutely, she refused to look at Jane who was circling the shop.

The owner returned with a large box, the foundations, all satin, silk and white lace, on top. Lisbon handled them with her fingers. "Exquisite lingerie!"

Ms. Billings nodded with a proud smile and started to walk with Lisbon to the dressing rooms to fit her.

"I'll do that," Jane said, smiling at the shop owner.

"But, but, sir . . . it's bad luck to—"

"We don't believe in that. I'll take the box." He held his arms out.

The woman looked questioningly at Lisbon, who nodded discreetly. She did not want a scene in the shop, and since he would see her in the dress, anyway . . . Ms. Billings handed the box to Jane who followed Lisbon to the dressing rooms.

She turned to her assistant, Clarice, who had been quietly watching from a corner, mouth open. "He's going to be trouble, that one."

Lisbon quickly undressed in the large mirrored room. With the completely naked love of his life in front of him, Jane had to work hard to refrain from putting his hands on her. He settled for a long wet kiss, while fondling her naked breasts and then pinched the nipples fiercely. He had to break the kiss when Lisbon cried out at the pique of erotic hurt. "Ow!" But her face was flushed with arousal. "What's the matter with you?"

"This is very exciting, Lisbon."

"Well, sit down and get excited in that chair!"

"Nothing I'd like better." He sat in the thickly upholstered, armless furniture. "Nice chair. Very supportive and comfy."

"Just sit there."

She turned her back to him. The ravishing, rich swell of her naked bottom, the flare of her hips made him groan. He could feel his cock try to spring up beneath the restriction of his clothes. Lifting from his seat, he grabbed himself to place his erect flesh in a more comfortable position, then sat down again with a relieved sigh.

Lisbon looked obliquely at him as she handled the lingerie and chose a pair of panties, put them on and sorted through the bras. Holding out two, she turned to Jane who was shifting in his seat an awful lot. Probably had a boner as hard as stoneware. "Which one do you think?"

He stood close to her and after looking them over, chose. "That one."

Quickly putting on the bra, she held her hair aside and said, "Do me?"

There was a distinct rumbling in Jane's chest as he held the bottom edge of the bra in front for her to adjust her breasts into the cups, then fingered the edge to the back, hooking it closed. His hands wrapped to her belly as he bent to softly kiss her neck and push his firm erection into her back. "I'll do you."

"I think you're getting a lot more out of this than I am." But Lisbon's skin had warmed considerably and her hips fidgeted as he pressed into her.

"Am I?" He let her go and sat in the chair again.

Lisbon opened the box and drew the dress from it, holding it up to admire. "Oooooooh," she sighed. "It's so beautiful." She lifted the flared skirt and slipped it over her head, adjusting it carefully.

Jane rose to fasten the back for her. He kissed her shoulders, careful not to handle the dress material, and murmured, "You are the most beautiful woman, Teresa, a dream come true."

She smiled and leaned into his kisses, so he continued. The mirrors on every wall reflected white satin and lace everywhere, made the dressing room come alive with it. Everywhere he looked was his raven-haired beauty in her wedding dress. Jane was overcome and his kisses and touch became seductive, electrifying and irresistible to Lisbon. "Oh, god, Teresa. Look at you. I want you a thousand times in that dress."

Turning to him, she pressed her bosom to his chest, her kisses demanding entry into his mouth, which he opened gladly. Soon she was planning how to take him in that chair. She opened the fly of his jeans and with one movement, hooked her thumbs in his underwear as she pulled his pants down, exposing him. She grabbed that part of him that had already given her so much pleasure and squeezed as she moved her hand on him.

"Wait, wait . . . your dress . . . "

"Take your pants to your knees and sit down, Patrick."

He yielded to her in the wonderland of this feminine bastion and did what she asked. Teresa walked into his open arms. "Lift up my dress."

This was better than his hottest dreams! Slipping his hands under the hem, he let it fall over his arms, the maddening susurrus filling his ears and caressing his skin, as he skimmed her thighs and rubbed the mound of her sex. She pushed it further into his hand, and he slipped a finger under the lace edging, relishing the wet that soaked her, drenched his finger and dampened her panties. Circling her clit before moving on, he found the waist of her panties and pulled them down to her knees where she shimmied out of them.

"Pull my dress up out of my way." Such a soft, sultry voice, wanting him.

When he had her skirt raised completely, Patrick grasped her hips and slid his hands to her bottom, cupping the luscious cheeks. When she felt his support, she put her hands on his shoulders and raised her legs, spreading them as he brought her to join his body, her toes finding a grip on the edge of the chair seat. White satin draped his thighs, caressing them as she moved.

Her naked lower body was a tantalizing mystery under all that murmuring satin, except to his hands and his throbbing cock. That, he held out for her and guided himself in by memory of her sweet, fat pussy. She would understand his crude thoughts as passion took him over. When her heat enveloped him, he threw his head back and moaned as she slid down to his balls. Supporting her back as she began to move, he worshipped her. Her eyes were deep and lost in the pleasure of his body, her dark hair flowing low on her back, covering his arms as she arched her neck and breathed her excitement. She rode him with an ancient rhythm as he guided and kneaded the flesh that filled his hands.

Teresa slid the stiff pole he offered her, always eager for her, making her feel the most desirable woman on earth. The angle of his cock in this position dragged her ultra-sensitive clit, hurrying her to orgasm. Her taut nipples stiffened even more and sang with every stroke. She picked up the pace without thinking about it, releasing her body from the confines of her mind and turning it over to his embracing arms and her deeper nature. Dimly, she heard the man she rode, the love of her life, gasp and rub the side of his head under her breast, whimpering his imminent release. She put a hand in his curls, beautiful to touch, not needing sight, and then exploded in hot spasm, her cries a brace against the overwhelming onslaught of pleasure. Patrick called her name as jet after jet pulsed into her deep heat, his groans a rhythmic cry recognizable everywhere.

Outside the dressing rooms, the shop owner waited awkwardly, a light blush on her cheeks at the erotic sounds emptying into the main room. Not that she was embarrassed by the sounds of lovemaking. She had heard them in those rooms many times over the years. When she elbowed Clarice and pointed to the shop door, she bolted to turn the sign to 'Closed' and locked the door.

There were two other clients inside the bank of dressing rooms. Her assistant, cheeks crimson, straightened her shoulders and leaned forward as if storming the front, dresses in arms for the other ladies.

The boss put her arm out. "No. Wait. We've got another pair of lovebirds in there. Don't disturb them. It will only upset and embarrass Ms. Lisbon."

A rustle of crinoline and organza preceded two ladies who were doing the rush tip-toe out of the dressing rooms while they had the chance, petticoats raised to their knees. Their faces were amused, scandalized masks. They made it to the shop ladies and bent over, hands over mouths bursting into giggles as the loud cries of completion drifted through the doorway.

As they waited out the lovers, Clarice stage-whispered to her boss, "Honestly. People have no impulse control these days."

"Honey, they never did."

Finally leaving the dressing room, Jane escorted Lisbon by the elbow and stood back as all the ladies admired her in her wedding dress, ooh-ing and ah-ing and clucking their heartfelt compliments. The ladies in their petticoats lost all modesty as they floated around the princess bride. Jane beamed and winked at Teresa as she turned for them, flashing a huge blushing smile at him.

"It fits perfectly," the shopkeeper exclaimed.

Lisbon nodded and then looked at him to hear his opinion.

"Perfectly," he confirmed with dazed eyes and a dazzled smile, looking at his lovely princess, not so angry this time.

While the assistant boxed everything up and Lisbon was readying to pay, Jane pulled a bit of white silk and lace from his pocket and held it up, wiggling it to get the owner's attention. "I'll take these." Then he stuffed the panties back in his pocket. They would make a fine souvenir of this wonderful day. His Teresa was so hot for him, she was game for anything!

After Jane and Lisbon left, the shopkeeper got back to business. "Get the air spray, Clarice, and give the dressing rooms a good fogging, just in case. Hurry! These ladies are waiting."

Ms. Billings smiled and nodded to the sniggling, snorting ladies giving each other looks.

Clarice came out, dragging the chair. "Emptied the spray can."

Ms. Billings didn't need to ask why Clarice had the chair. "All right. Send the chair to the cleaner's and we'll send the happy couple the bill for it."

She looked at her two customers, hands over their shocked mouths and, gestured with an inviting arm, "Ladies . . . let's get back to business, shall we?" They all filed into the dressing rooms as Clarice unlocked the shop door and turned the sign to 'Open.'


End file.
